Pro Vaper resume example

This resume obviously isn't the most polished & probably the worst written resume you'll ever see. But I'm just gonna give you the facts that seem to apply & you can ask me anything I don't cover. I guess I'll start with my best trait & greatest flaw at the same time. I was raised a pentecostal preachers kid, that went miles past out of control & I have Aspergers syndrome. Which is technically called high functioning autism spectrum disorder. I'm not the rain man. Think more of a Cross between Sheldon on Big Bang Theory & Cheech & Chong & that's me. I'm very intelligent & figure out things at lightning speeds but I don't read body language or facial language well though either but the less I pay attention the more I will see. It's hard to explain. But I skated through college by NOT paying attention at all & never got a question wrong on a final.

I am a recovering heroin addict. It has been years & i go to a methadone clinic. Im proud of my recovery so i want you to know cuz i will not hide it. Now you put all my years in the drug/deep ellum/club scene sub culture for years & you got a guy that'll see trouble long before anyone else notices anything. I'll tell you it may be my Aspergers idk but i cant lie, i suck at it. Ill forget & catch myself so i decided years ago im a grown man so I don't have any reason to lie about what i do so I won't lie to you ever, so be careful what you ask me. Make sure you really want to know cuz it'll probably shock you & not be good. I have a felony record. It is all over 10 years old. I haven't had so much as a ticket in a decade. But that gives me something you can use. I can spot something shady going down in an instant. 1 was because I was a piece of crap in the 1990s but mainly its my Aspergers. It makes me notice everything in patterns & when people are lying or trying to do something dishonest it either makes illogical patterns makes no real patterns it just will seem like they are doing a pattern that does not warrant it in that situation. so I know somebody's up to something. 9 out of 10 people meet me & think I am a complete idiot & I've learned throughout my life it is beneficial a lot of the time to have everyone in the room truly believe they are dramatically smarter than I am because when people think you are ditzy & can't stay on one subject longer than a second it makes my outwitting them so easily. I read nonstop. I will just start talking about off the wall stuff. I'm not the idiot if the person can't understand thermodynamics or quantum physics. But I'm not ditzy my brain thinks about 10 to 20 things in great detail simultaneously every moment I'm awake. I only sleep 2,3 maybe 4 hours a night at best. I work extremely well alone. I spent most of my time alone. 126 I.Q., Autistic tendencies. We do are own thing & get very obsessed with whatever has got us excited. I love flashing lights like cop lights. It will mesmerize me everytime I see them so my last 3 cars have had thousands of dollars in led light shows installed all by me with strobe controllers & using ghost controllers for addressable led underglow. I was so obsessed I taught myself electrical engineering watching YouTube. You hire me & I'd enjoy being your research guy on all the new cannibinoids & the legalities surrounding it. I'm already doing that research cuz I want to be up to date.