Page 9 of the Cover Letter Tutorial: Examples of Bad Openers
Examples of Bad First Paragraphs in Actual Job-Search Cover Letters:
In these examples the recipient can gather only by reading between the lines that the writer is applying for a job. Consider how much better these openers would be if the writers were much more explicit about why they’re writing and what position they seek:
- Dear Mrs. Cory:
While I was visiting Oregon last year the name of your station came up repeatedly in discussion as having a compelling newscast. Given my interest in broadcasting as a career I have taken the liberty of enclosing my resume.
Dear Mr. Duff:
There are no substitutes for Drive Motivation and Desire. In December I will graduate from Boston University with a degree in investment finance. Along with my open receptive mind and the above-mentioned characteristics I offer you a unique opportunity of propelling your already successful organization in the investments field.
Dear Mr. Bradford:
My experience working as an attractions host at the Disney-MGM Studios will enable me to understand the philosophies and daily activities at the Walt Disney World resort. I was a part of the opening crew of the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and Sunset Boulevard. Because it was a new attraction we had to make important decisions on our own as to how to best operate the attraction. I have demonstrated that I can work well with others by my experience in the Walt Disney College Program.
Read on to learn more about the second paragraph of a dynamic cover letter…
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